OPERATION COSMIC TEAPOT BY DYLAN CALLENS

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OPERATION COSMIC TEAPOT
DYLAN CALLENS
GENRE- FANTASY HUMOR COMEDY PHILOSOPHY
RELEASED DECEMBER 2015

“A virgin birth? A virgin? Her?” God shouted at Freud while recalling his one night stand with Mary. Freud snorted another line of cocaine in celebration, believing that this story would help Nietzsche in his quest to fire God from Heaven Inc. Nietzsche; however, had other problems: the Norse gods were running amok on Earth, his board of directors were in a constant state of chaos, and syphilis pushed him into a past life that he would rather forget.

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I recently had the pleasure of sitting down with Friedrich Nietzsche, one of the world’s most profound and disturbing philosophers. In the discussion, we were able to talk about his role in the book, Operation Cosmic Teapot, and his former life.

Please introduce yourself.
I’m Friedrich Wilhelm Nietzsche. I wrote many important works of philosophy, including The Gay Science, Beyond Good and Evil, and of course, The Will to Power. I am also the protagonist in Operation Cosmic Teapot.
In Operation Cosmic Teapot, you hold a grudge against God. Can you tell us more about that?
Sure, but I wouldn’t call it a grudge as much as I would a vendetta. You see, during my life he took away everything from me. It started with my father and younger brother, when I was six years old. I mean, my father was a minister – how could He do that? To tell you the truth, during most my life I didn’t think that He even existed.
To my surprise, in the afterlife, I was named as CEO of Heaven Inc. That’s when I found out that God really did exist. It was a shock to see Him, to say the least. I think it’s even more shocking that because of my role, I was His boss. That’s when I started to hatch my plan for revenge.
What revenge is that?
To fire God. To finally get rid of Him from the world stage of religion.
In the book, you keep slipping into the past. Why is that?
Some people want to blame it on my syphilis. I’m not so sure that I have syphilis; I’m still waiting for those medical results. Truth is, as much as I want to forget about what happened during my life, I am thrown back into it. I can’t tell you how painful it is to relive those moments. It’s like a home movie constantly playing in my head.
You also have a problem with the Norse Gods. Can you tell me a little about that?
The Norse Gods are no different than Richard Wagner. He used those silly Muppets to espouse his fascist propaganda. He called it the German spirit, but it was nothing more than anti-Semitism, if you ask me. So, when the Norse Gods escaped from Heaven Inc., I had to track them down.
You really do seem filled with anger. Do you think that maybe it’s time for you to seek psychological help?
How dare you suggest such a thing! I’m not filled with anger. I’m just trying to right the wrongs that were done.
I have one last, fun question for you. If you were a tree, what kind of tree would you be, and why?
Well that’s a stupid question. Why would you ask me such a thing?
It’s for fun.
Then I’d be a tree that can kick your ass.
Never mind. Thank you for taking time to talk to me.
Uh huh. A pleasure.

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CAN I GET AWAY WITH IT?

 

I receive an ARC from the author DYLAN CALLENS in exchange for an honest opinion. This is Mismousey’s very honest opinion of his book- OPERATION COSMIC TEAPOT.

Haven’t heard of Mr. Callens before? Hmmm- well that’s because he is a brand new author. And this is his very first book. Saying that then- I was unsure of what type of author Mr Callens was exactly. His book from reading the blurb or book bio sounded interesting. Very different  – I would even say that once I started reading it this thought provoking book. I found it very Philosophical. Now this is a type of book that the mouse does not read very often.

Operation Cosmic Teapot is satire with a twist of philosophical hints throughout  You will find yourself wondering of you are actually on this cosmic planet – or of by some chance you ended up maybe reading Freud patient note’s by mistake.

Mr. Callens is a unique writer along with being a creative one. He has brought to life before the reader’s eyes. You are able to visualize seeing everything right in front of you. The call center – Odin -Loki-Thor-Freud- Newton and the rest.  Picture this now a big call center as big as let’s say maybe as be what is Microsoft is. But this one is called  Heaven Inc….

Yeah that’ right … Our story open up inside the call center with the big guy himself – Nietzsche trying to figure out a way to fire GOD. He has called a board meeting. Along with having God being ordered to see Dr Freud. For some mandatory sessions. Nietz believes that he can find something in the sessions to have him fired.  But while he is working on trying to get rid of God – he also has another problem and that is the Norse Gods. It seems that are have stolen some information from Heaven Inc. Now he has to find them and bring them back.

You have the Norse Gods- Baal-God -several other lesser God are also mentioned. During this time Nietzsche who is consumed with getting  his enemy out of Heaven Inc. By the end of the story does Nietz realize what is important?  Will Humanity itself accept what we have done?

This is one book you want to read slow. In  order to take grasp writers meaning. It is a very thoughtful and a thought provoking book. One that I do recommend for all readers. Mismousey does give this a firm rating of 70 out 5 stars.

NOW ADD THIS TO YOUR GOODREAD READING LIST! THEN RUN AND GET YOUR COPY TODAY!

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dylancallen

Dylan grew up in Delhi, Ontario. From a young age, he was always interested in writing; however, in high school, his interests were focused more towards music. He dreamed of being famous in a heavy metal band named Nothing Sacred. Unfortunately, the band wasn’t all that good, so fame and fortune never transpired.

Afterwards, Dylan moved to Sudbury, Ontario to attend Laurentian University. While attending, he wrote for the university paper, Lambda, as a columnist, then news editor. He watched as the paper fell to shit due to the brilliant decisions of an idiot edit-in-chief (not Norm, the other guy!). Because of that, he left to become the Program Director at CKLU radio. Somewhere in there, Dylan was able to graduate with a degree in English and philosophy.

With such a heavy demand for philosophers in the workplace, Dylan decided to attend teacher’s college. He found a job teaching in Sudbury, where he continues to live with his family.

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